Have you ever heard the saying that regret is the only emotion that never goes away? I am not sure if this is true yet but I wonder why it has been said.
I was doing some grocery shopping the other day when I realized this is around 10th time this is happening to me; I get a hint of putting something in the basket, I give it a thought and say no to it and walk away. And of course once I check out and get home, I can’t stop thinking about that item and keep saying; shoulda bought it, I really want to have it now… And regret inevitability follows.
I know this is quite a small regrettable incident, but started to make me wonder; Why do we regret certain things and not the rest?
Is the Regret feeling coming from Ego or our true self? Once we figure that out we can see if it is real or not, and how is it manageable.
I started to make notes of the times that I regretted some things and didn’t on the others. For example remembering to say something to someone and didn’t, the should have feeling didn’t come into play this time because I realized one important difference;
I did not get a hint in the back of my mind, or as an old fashion saying; it did not cross my mind to say it at the time, therefore once it came to my mind that I should have said it, no regret was followed, how could I regret something that never was? And it became clear to me;
Those dropped hints and those little whispers in the back of our mind for every little thing that we want to do are coming from our intuition, our best guid in this universe. So as we ignore it, we are going against our own good and the regret feeling is the aftermath of that response, and our punishment (or lesson if we can use it) for our ignorance.
So basically regret only follows when we ignore a hint, not just because we should have done something and we didn’t. If we do not act, it is simply because we were not suppose to, it wasn’t the time, or just it is a wrong idea and it seems to be right in retrospect.
Now, the tricky and important part is to know which is the hint from our intuition and which is just a bad idea from our ego. It has taken me a long time to figure this one out of course, but I have found a way to differentiate the two;
First thing is; Are we are present in the moment. (being in your head and if you’ve been thinking for couple of hours blocks you from getting clear messages from your intuition )
The second is; Is it a quick thought, first thought, and it is kind of random. Think of it as little drops of milk in your coffee (weird example I know but I think it works.)
The third is; Do you immediately have a bit of resistance to it. Your ego starts to act immediately after an idea comes from above. The immediate resistance after a drop idea is a great hint to know not to get fooled and stick to it.
The forth is; after resisting it immediately or dismissing it, does it pops up again, gives you another chance to say yes to it. If comes back into your mind, that is it. You have to go for it.
These steps are helpful guide but of course it is still quite tricky, we are the only ones that at any given moment to know what is real and what is coming from the ego.
Regret only grabs us when are given the chance and those little milk drops, and we say no.
So do not fear of saying yes to something that has been popping to your mind few times after you have turned your head the other way. Grab that little chocolate bar that caught your attention at the store, because when you wake up in the morning and realize you need something before the work out and tell yourself I should have grabbed that bar, you know what inevitably follows…