For a long time, I could not convince others how old I was. I looked so much younger that I couldn’t even believe myself, when it came out of my mouth. I basically had to think for a moment to remember the number, because it didn’t mean anything to me. I felt ageless.
I have been waiting. I have been waiting for this moment, to see someone sitting in front of me and have the courage to hear whispers in my head, saying you are whose partner I am suppose to be. That fear inside of me is not taking over, the voice that says you are not here to stay, that unreal voice which forgets, that if you are who you are, nothing will take you away.
If your heart is singing the same song as mine, let our dance begin, and our love blossom.
Have you ever heard the saying that “your life will change when you start a gratitude journal”? That gratitude is the only thing you need?
I’ve known this for a long time but I never really believed in it with my whole heart until recently I had an epiphany. Gratitude has a unique effect, makes you surrender, because unless you surrender you can not be happy for what you have. And being grateful for what you have requires to give up and surrender what you want and don’t have. Confused yet?? It is the chicken and egg situation. Once you surrender your desires and whatever is forcing you not wanting the NOW, you will start to feel grateful for what you actually have.
I find it that it always helps me to find out why something works and another doesn’t. The why has always been more important to me than the what. And of course this has never been an attractive quality of mine, in the eyes of my teachers and parents of course. Can you imagine how time consuming and annoying would be to have to answer to a child’s “stupid” questions, specially when you don’t know the answers? And of course with no answer, I had never accepted what was forced on me or asked of me. Ergo I was not an “easy” child as they say.
Today I find this quality one of my best ones and the one that has helped me to learn whatever I have learned in my life, and for that I am grateful, I am grateful for a quality in me that everyone hated.
So what came after this feeling you wonder?
Of course It made me embrace the rest of my personality and my qualities, no matter how hard, unpleasant, unacceptable they have been, I am sure there are reasons for them being there.
Be thankful for the WHOLE of you, some day you will find them useful.
Have you ever heard the saying that regret is the only emotion that never goes away? I am not sure if this is true yet but I wonder why it has been said.
I was doing some grocery shopping the other day when I realized this is around 10th time this is happening to me; I get a hint of putting something in the basket, I give it a thought and say no to it and walk away. And of course once I check out and get home, I can’t stop thinking about that item and keep saying; shoulda bought it, I really want to have it now… And regret inevitability follows.
I know this is quite a small regrettable incident, but started to make me wonder; Why do we regret certain things and not the rest?
Is the Regret feeling coming from Ego or our true self? Once we figure that out we can see if it is real or not, and how is it manageable.
I started to make notes of the times that I regretted some things and didn’t on the others. For example remembering to say something to someone and didn’t, the should have feeling didn’t come into play this time because I realized one important difference;
I did not get a hint in the back of my mind, or as an old fashion saying; it did not cross my mind to say it at the time, therefore once it came to my mind that I should have said it, no regret was followed, how could I regret something that never was? And it became clear to me;
Those dropped hints and those little whispers in the back of our mind for every little thing that we want to do are coming from our intuition, our best guid in this universe. So as we ignore it, we are going against our own good and the regret feeling is the aftermath of that response, and our punishment (or lesson if we can use it) for our ignorance.
So basically regret only follows when we ignore a hint, not just because we should have done something and we didn’t. If we do not act, it is simply because we were not suppose to, it wasn’t the time, or just it is a wrong idea and it seems to be right in retrospect.
Now, the tricky and important part is to know which is the hint from our intuition and which is just a bad idea from our ego. It has taken me a long time to figure this one out of course, but I have found a way to differentiate the two;
First thing is; Are we are present in the moment. (being in your head and if you’ve been thinking for couple of hours blocks you from getting clear messages from your intuition )
The second is; Is it a quick thought, first thought, and it is kind of random. Think of it as little drops of milk in your coffee (weird example I know but I think it works.)
The third is; Do you immediately have a bit of resistance to it. Your ego starts to act immediately after an idea comes from above. The immediate resistance after a drop idea is a great hint to know not to get fooled and stick to it.
The forth is; after resisting it immediately or dismissing it, does it pops up again, gives you another chance to say yes to it. If comes back into your mind, that is it. You have to go for it.
These steps are helpful guide but of course it is still quite tricky, we are the only ones that at any given moment to know what is real and what is coming from the ego.
Regret only grabs us when are given the chance and those little milk drops, and we say no.
So do not fear of saying yes to something that has been popping to your mind few times after you have turned your head the other way. Grab that little chocolate bar that caught your attention at the store, because when you wake up in the morning and realize you need something before the work out and tell yourself I should have grabbed that bar, you know what inevitably follows…
Sorry guys for a long delay, been so occupied trying to adjust to the new life style, at least this is my excuse for now ;)
This very easy amazing chocolate mousse has saved my craving so many night, and it is so yummy!!
1 large Avocado
2 TBS Raw Chocolate powder
2 TBS Maple Syrup
handful of Walnuts
Put all in a mixer, mix until smooth. Add the Walnuts on top.